Title: Why is This Happening to Me – A Guide for Learning Emotional Intelligence
Author: Kathleen Kelly
Publisher: Toplink Publishing
ISBN: 978-1504370950
Pages: 228
Genre: Non-fiction
Reviewed by: Susan Brown
Hollywood Book Reviews
Have you ever found yourself in a situation with family, friends or coworkers where you say to yourself, “What am I doing here?” or “How did I get into this predicament?” Understanding the answers to these questions so intrigued author Kathleen Kelly that she wrote this book, explaining the vital role emotional intelligence plays in answering the question, “Why is this happening to me?” Her solutions are detailed in this book. It’s a primer that identifies tools to assist in developing the skills needed to avoid undesirable situations by utilizing emotional intelligence. She defines emotional intelligence as a “combination of self-awareness and an understanding of the feelings you and others are having and why.”
She peppers the narrative with real life experiences. She draws from those experiences to highlight how to recognize negative situations and destructive emotions and how to react and deal with difficult encounters. In the process, you’ll learn that applying emotional intelligence creates win-win situations. She emphasizes that each of us has the power to walk away from harmful behaviors. The first step, in her estimation, is to create a life in which we are happy and satisfied with ourselves. How to do that begins with learning to manage ourselves, our emotions and our reactions. Steps to accomplish this include refining our responses by using reasoning, communication, understanding, awareness, courage, discipline and spirituality, as well as eliminating the use of anger, hatred, aggression and bullying as behaviors.
In addition to the author’s own thoughts and perspectives, she includes a wide-range of quotes from the books of many other well-respected authors. Represented are the insights of President Jimmy Carter, Thomas Moore, Eckhart Tolle, Daniel Goleman, Erich Fromm and many more; even Aristotle gets a mention. Ms. Kelly calls us to discover how to be the best person we can be by giving us the path towards that goal. It’s through self-reflection, acceptance and awareness of the world around us that the trajectory of our lives can change. It’s staying connected and being present, as our best self, to the world around us that helps us develop emotional intelligence.
This is one of those books best kept close-at-hand. It’s a useful reminder that understanding the need for emotional intelligence in all of our relationships is vital to negotiating the ups-and-downs life throws at us.