Title: You Have Been Chosen: The Identity of an Adopted Child
Author: Mary Nyambura Muchiri
Publisher: Toplink Publishing
Pages: 128
Genre: Memoir/ Christian
ISBN: 978-1946801395
Interviewed by: Ella Vincent
Mary Nyambura Muchiri Author Questions
Today we are talking with Mary Nyambura Muchiri author of “You Have Been Chosen: The Identity of an Adopted Child.”
HBR: You write so honestly about your journey to adopting your child. What made you write so honestly about your infertility and adoption of your son?
My intention for writing is to help others going through a similar experience. If readers do not trust that what I am saying is true, they are not likely to take it seriously. That would not help me to achieve my main goal.
HBR: Were you surprised by the hostility you received when you were childless? How did you cope with such judgement?
I was not surprised by non-Christians, but I was surprised by fellow Christians, who I thought should know better, that children are a GIFT from God. Instead, they accused me of not having enough faith, and some even insinuated that I may have aborted, and that was why I was being punished. It hurt greatly, but God comforted me with the words of 2Cor. 1:3-4 which describes God as “The God of all comfort.” Knowing that God understood what I was going through, and that He was not judging me, helped me to cope, though it was still very difficult.
HBR: You have such an abiding faith. How did you keep your faith during your fertility struggles?
The truth is, it had little to do with me. I believe the Holy Spirit, our “Helper,” and “counsellor,” was the one who gave me strength to continue, even at times when I was so discouraged that I considered taking my own life. Others like my mother, who understood my pain, helped me to keep believing that, though I did not understand why this was happening, God had a purpose, and one based on love not malice. I had to believe that God’s nature would not allow Him to do me harm, only what is good, though I did not see it that way at the time.
HBR: What do you want parents struggling with fertility to get from your book?
The most important thing is not to blame themselves, or believe the myths about infertility. They can try treatment, but if it fails, let them adopt a child. In doing that their minds will be preoccupied by parenting, not self –pity, and they will be serving God and their fellow man, by taking care of children, who for no fault of their own suffer even more than the childless couples.
HBR: How do you want this book to help adopted children?
Adopted children need to discuss their feelings with the adopting parents. They may not find it easy to initiate these conversations, but their adopting parents should help them bring up any issues that puzzle or disturb them. They, too, may often blame themselves for being “bad children,” leading to their rejection by birth parents. They need to be affirmed and encouraged so that they do not live with the fear of a second rejection.
HBR: What authors do you like to read?
On this topic I read mainly the authors I have quoted in the book, such as Sherrie Eldridge and Amy Blackstone, and the Cradle website. Others are on the works Cited Page.