Title: Evil Eyed Women
Author: Helena Butler
Publisher: PageTurner Press and Media, LLC
ISBN: 9781638716112
Pages: 92
Genre: Memoir
Reviewed by: Susan Brown
Hollywood Book Reviews
Descriptors for toxic people are many and include words like poisonous, dangerous, condescending, noxious and, in this memoir, evil eyed. The definition of an evil eyed person is one who, with a glance, is capable of inflicting harm. This memoir, a reflection of those in the author’s life who exhibit an evil eye persona who have a “deliberate dedication to avoid eyes being a window to their soul.”
There is nothing of the supernatural in this book. No magical curses. Nothing metaphysical. No superstitious thinking. This memoir is about family … a family that was dominated by one, very unpleasant person who was mean-spirited, spiteful and cruel with a single-mindedness that filled the author’s life with misery. Fortunately, Ms. Butler has a joyous spirit, one that carried her through the worst of the attacks on her mental and emotional well-being. She clung to her belief that, “our challenge in this lifetime is to bring sparks of light and love to our souls as well as others. The sparks of light are cumulative and they spread. Every act of love and kindness lights our soul.”
From an early age, the author was subjected to attacks from her mother’s sister, Irene. She says, “Irene became overwhelmingly jealous when my mother, Louisa, was born. I was dealing with this when Irene was dying at age 92. Rather than a diagnosis, I just call her a toxic person.” She writes of Irene, “I happened to have loved her. There was never one second to the contrary. No one cared. I really had no idea how bad it was. I knew she was insane. I knew when she gave me her evil eye when I was 15.” The situation did not improve as the author matured. Family celebrations of all kinds were tainted with the presence of Aunt Irene. The author’s friends and coworkers were not overlooked in the constant barrage of vitriol spewed by Aunt Irene.
Through it all, however, Ms. Butler maintained her conscious focus to rise above the ongoing malicious attacks on her. She took care of ailing family members, worked to improve her life at jobs that gave her some security, she studied her family history with an eye toward understanding what might be at the root of her aunt’s unpleasant behaviors, and she made a vow to God to be of use to him throughout her life. She believed and embodied her life vision that, “Every act of love and kindness lights our soul.”
This book will resonate with those who find themselves in dysfunctional relationships, either with family, friends, coworkers or the person next door. Ms. Butler shines a light on how to behave in these situations. She calls us to, “Look at the other’s eyes and smile! Smile deeply! Smile Warmly! Laugh with your eyes! Engage and share. Be with another! You will find you cannot smile if you are in judgement.”
This message is universal in its effectiveness and this memoir is a reminder for all of us to embrace and apply it, much like the author has modeled throughout her life.